Dream Vacation

Brandon and Alex at Yosemite
The firewood we got burned in spite of the rain.

I finely got to Yosemite with Alex (my son). This is the last official leg of my huge summer trip. Tomorrow my boy and I will bike the Yosemite valley bike path. 

I am calculating the total number of US States we traveled to these last 2 months. I need a map!  June I picked Alex up in North Carolina.  I purchased my mustang in PA.  From there we visited family in Michigan.  I took Highway 80 from the east coast to the other side (San Francisco.) 

I counted on google maps 20 states. It may be more because of all the little states near DC.  Impossible to keep track of everything i did with my boy these last 2 months. 

Its all thanks to his dad not picking up a drink these last 4 years. This has been the trip of my life. And my sons. Alex has it way too good.  I overcompensate, I regret the time I lost with my son. 

I have not felt this free in a long time. Must always remind myself that it is “but for the grace of god.”. 

I done a lot of drugs. When they stopped working I mixed them together. I was a real animal when I was 28. 

Age 34 sees me sober.  Sitting in Yosemite near a warm fire. My boy asleep in the tent. 2 mountain bikes parked next to my mustang.  

Well, there is no high like living the dream.  My dream, I’m sure I drempt of being a cool dad!   I know Alex Loves the whole experience. He is totally spoiled. 

I started being a father again when my son was about 7.  I started to worry, maybe I’ll mess him up with my personal BS?  Maybe..  

Not being a father when Alex was 3 to 6 sure created issues to overcome. 

Im admitting, ” real dads try!”

Regardless of the pain and bullshit life hands you. Real dads show up.  We get over that shit. I got over it.  

I just did the next right thing for myself. My son, the most important person in my family. I still have influence.  I can’t tell my mom or dad anything. Alex and I have deep convention, we talk about real shit.  

For example, I asked Alex..  “Hey, what do you think about your dad being a dirt ball for years?  Now, this year I’m freaking father of the year!”.  He is like, its cool.  

I made amends to him. When he was 9, I wrote out a ninth step and told it to him toward the end of a trip, before he flew back home.  Well I sobbed like a baby. He told me he forgave me.  

Shit was weird.  Now its good.

There are little things he does. Little attitude adjustments I have to daddy up for. 

Its so foolish that I sound like I’m taking credit for these things. My idea of God has changed in sobriety. Its truely amazing what God does.  

Lol I know I said God a whole bunch. Probably too much for comfort.

Alex and his Dad really connected over summer 2017.  He knows his dad is Crazy.  But his dad knows Alex is a goofy spoiled boy.  

What I am saying is that ” while having fun”, I often call Alex out on his character defects. These days I admit my own character defects to my 10 year old son. Thank God.  

Like this, please follow me on twitter.  Link up with me on Facebook.  If your in recovery and u blog, I’d love to connect on WordPress.  

Like share and comment. Thanks for reading.  BP


2 thoughts on “Dream Vacation

  1. dad hi its me


    1. Say whattt! I did not know you blogged son?? Lol. Love u.


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