Listed are the 20 questions of Gamblers Anonymous.  Typically they are read at the beginning of each GA meeting.

I was asked to personally answer each of the 20 by my GA sponsor.  Of course, I go above and beyond and I post each of the 20 questions to my blog.  😉

Compulsive gamblers, professionals and gambling addiction specialists agree;  If you answer yes to 7 of the 20 that you may be a compulsive gambler.  I answer yes to all 20!

If your reading this and you want help find a sponsor that makes you go to any length to find help.  Anyways…  Enjoy the insight into the self destructiveness of a real compulsive gambler.

Please answer the following questions.

1. Did you ever lose time from work due to gambling?
yes, I used to come into work on Monday in the army and consistently fall asleep.  I specifically remember being counselled by one of my peers for trying to make it to work on time.  Driving like 120 mph in my mustang.

2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
yes, I pushed away others because of the feelings I often fail to understand or can not even put into words.  My ex wife mostly got the brunt of this self delusion.  

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3. Did gambling affect your reputation?
yes, I remember getting demoted by Major Todd in the army.  Lucky for me I was set to ETS, leave the military soon.  Thus, I got my SGT rank back on a technicality.  

 
4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
yes, I remember crying one time after I lost like 10 grand.  Every time after that I was a little more numb to the feeling of remorse.  I have trouble with this feeling.  

 
5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise
solve financial difficulties?
yes, I have been homeless 2 times.  

 
6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
yes, I would stay awake all weekend.  

 
7. After losing, did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back
your losses?
yes, I got real good at blocking out the shame related to this action.  

 
8. After a win, did you ever have a strong urge to return and win more?
yes, often times I would get wrapped up in all the free shit.  So I would stay.  I am no better, I fall into that trap.  

 
9. Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?
yes, Oh yeah, what is like 20 bucks when you just lost over 1000?

 
10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
yes, I maxed out several credit cards.  

 
11. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?
yes, but not how you would think.  I recall one time trying not to gamble for my family.  After we had a garage sale in Paso Robles, CA.  I ended up going out and winning like 300 bucks.  Needless to say, my wife at the time did not approve.  

12. Were you reluctant to use gambling money for normal expenditures?
yes, did you ever hear of a bankroll?  I suck at bankroll management.  

 
13. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family?
yes, Gambling was my fist priority.  I would not think of my health or family while gambling.  

 
14. Did you ever gamble longer than you planned?
yes, planned???  haha..  Toward the end I would not fool myself with deadlines.  Plans went out the window.  

 
15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble?
yes, I admit this now.  There is a considerable amount of shame and guilt that I have to work through in a way that will hopefully help me.  

 
16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to
finance your gambling?
yes, I worked at this casino as a slot accountant.  Anyways, at the end of the day we would have like a million dollars on the table..  After the count..  I would think of 1000 ways I could get that money out of that little room.  Good thing I never was dumb enough to try.  

 
17. Did gambling cause you to have difficulty sleeping?
yes, I have clinical depression and anxiety.  I just got diagnosed with sleep apnea.  I got this little breather machine by my bed now. 

 
18. Do arguments, disappointments, or frustration create within you an urge
to gamble?
yes, I would say my shortcomings overall.  I have to be careful not to slip from disappointment to depression.  I believe that I am most hard on myself.  I at least own that much.  

 
19. Did you have an urge to celebrate good fortune by a few hours of
gambling?
yes, good or bad feelings.  It did not matter.  In the end I would leave the casino feeling numb.  

 
20. Have you ever considered self-destruction or suicide as a result of your
gambling?
yes, what I always say..  I like to look over the edge..  This has been bs.  I am 34 now.  And I can feel this problem catching up to me.  Mentally, emotionally and physically…  There are a lot better ways to die then inside of a casino.  

 
Most compulsive (problem) gamblers will answer yes to at least seven of
these questions

Thanks for reading.  Friend me on facebook.  Just search Brandon Pausa.  Follow me here on twitter at @Kingpausa.

 

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