I think that lately I have not felt like I have had much worth saying.
Perhaps the exact opposite is true.
I am sitting here in Lompoc CA. And yes, white people are the minority here in little Mexico.
Besides that I think everything in my life may actually work out. I have hope. I think that is more then most addicts. I sometimes forget, that I have made this life with the help of God.
I am dating a little Asian girl who takes cute to the extreme. She is also a eye doctor, not kidding.. How strange is that.
I did just graduate college with a business management degree (4 year). University of Nevada, Reno is amazing. Missing Samuel Jones..
I worked through a 4th step in the GA program last month. GA is gamblers anonymous. I miss GA in Reno Nevada, that was the best recovery meeting. For me..
I hate the feelings of Guilt and Shame. I have been very board looking for a job online as of late. I get in these crappy moods sometimes.
I do go to meetings sometimes, like 3 times a week. My gym routine tho! My gym work is amazing now. For my age, i’m 34..
No, my prayer life is not as amazing as it was last month. I feel lonely more often, as a result.
I want to have family again, whatever the cost. I miss my son, I wish I would call more. I think the courage of a father is subtle.. That is BS, I could be a better Dad.
Obviously, I must be struggling with feelings. Everything is going so fast.. It seems like life is going fast..
Okay, here goes.. I regret… I get angry.. I get happy.. I get grateful.. I freaking miss my cat, and I feel like a baby because of it! Death is one of those things.. Whatever that means.
I guess i will never understand death. Death most have something to do with why I don’t try to hold onto things…
I am okay.. But I think that this fact is the strange thing… for the person with a addictive personality.
I guess I will just keep applying to jobs. Some tell me I am overqualified.. haha. What will I do from here? I must never forget that what matters is now.. What matters is now.
Sam and Jen I did not get your permission to put you in a recovery blog.. Sue me, for what?! I will put effort into posting recovery based stuff at least once a month.